I was not saved.
But like Taylor Swift’s cheesy ‘Out of the Woods’ video I realized I wasn’t rescued because I had found myself.
This really doesn’t mean that on the way I don’t stop for donuts and the like, distracting me and making me forget that even though I am a shitty map reader, I’m a darn good navigator. It’s just that sometimes, I, simple forget. Because honestly, life isn’t supposed to be good pictures all the time. You have to click 54 selfies before you find the 10 most socially acceptable ones that you can send to all your friends to proclaim yourself as their glorious goddess of typos. WORSHIP ME.
I don’t know what is time anymore and it felt like just yesterday when I was out with Rochana on the last day of 2014 seemingly prepared for everrrrything. Which in retrospect is absolutely wrong. Because for one, I don’t have to be prepared. I don’t have to have a plan of action. And I don’t have to have all the answers. All I know is that it IS hard trying to be a good person in a world where it is far easy to do your worst.
I want to tell you of all the brilliant things happened this year, but since that’s usually kept for my birthday gratitude post, I’m just going to tell you about the people in my life. Because I’ve realized far too often how true the statement ‘man is a social animal’ is for it to be a joke anymore. And even though I am kinda asocial (apparently antisocial is the wrong term, yay for learning something new) I would totally die a million times over without these people. One, is obviously Rochana. (I hope she won’t read this coz of how overly cheesy it is.) She is a brilliant being, I mean yea whatever she’s not that bad and she has her moments and she’s incredibly funny if you get her humor. Most people just take offense and leave, I guess her face is lidat, can’t help that now. But she worries too much and I just want her to know, that she shouldn’t. Life is going to be the same if you worry or not. And I know some estrus is great and all, psychologically, but if it’s leaving you more sad than happy then you probably should see the doctor aka me. But mostly thank you, I mean who wouldn’t want to have me as their friend and all, you made a brilliant choice. You’re welcome.
Karl, wouldn’t actually expect to see himself second, but here you are and boy, am I grateful. Thank you for making me feel 1% okay about the male species even though I really don’t like them thaaat much. You set an exception and I guess I can believe in the odds because of you. You are so understanding and knowing and caring, and I don’t say this often, but bro to bro, you are awesome. But don’t let that go to your head, I will say it only once a year, so yeah. You deserve to be happy. And as somebody told me last night, Happiness is a choice and you don’t have to shut yourself out even if the day isn’t good because there are at least two people that care.
It’s been an odd year for us. Mostly because we do live separate lives now and almost hardly fangirl over Castle, which I had to so sadly admit. But you know, you see those pictures on facebook that they share about how friends who can go months without speaking and still have lots to say and the same kind of zeal and energy, that’s kinda us. Hash Tag So True. (Apparently relatable isn’t a word, neither is relateable. So is it relate – able? IF it’s not a word why do people use it. This is why I fail in novel writing, the world is conspiring against me!!!!!!!) We will always need each other even if it’s just for background noise and pizza.
Talking about conspiracy theories, I have a few wild ones, but that’s not our case of interest here. The most weird thing is finding a person who believes in utterly unrealistic existential theories of life with the same amount of passion as you do. One idiot is understandable. Two is just the universe’s tiny joke. Yes, I’m looking at you Tiara. For all your mysterious black beauty and your unfailing optimism about life, socks and the ever green forests in India, you are a pretty pretty pretty okay person 😛 Thank you for sharing chicken curry and chappati with me, making me eat something substantial in the foyer and introducing to the liquid sub-category called fruit juices.
NINI. I hate you because even though it’s just the second day of the year I’m already trying to read furiously so for once I can beat you in the book race. Nia, which pig’s belly did you rub to get all those free books or did you sell your soul to Crowley AGAIN? I would probably read 64 books anyway last year, but without you breathing on my neck, it would be quite a boring competition. I love fighting with you, hearing you complain (No, actually I’m just saying nice things for wordpress’ sake) and stealing your headphones time and again. The next I time I take them, you’re not getting it back:))))
Aaaaand before wrapping it up, I must take a bow to Nithya, who even though comes across as the most sane practical creature in this pack is actually the worst of us all. Behind that mask is a fury for violent video games, killing, fangirling and a lot of gossiping. Oh yeah. Can you not be OCD for once Niths? Also can you please stay for a party beyond 10 PM YOU ARE KINDA THE OLDEST AMONG US ALL. In spite of all I find our conversations to be highly enlightening, our efforts to discuss several FICTIONAL theories highly productive, okay I can’t go on with this flowery language thing. Let’s just buy those GoT merchandise and get out of here.
This is the most that I’ve typed in the longest while and I just remembered I have an English CIA to do. WOW. So yeah. I guess I never realized time was passing because for all those seemingly finite moments I had these ever expanding people who made everything seem so timeless. I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I just know that I really don’t care what year it is, whether it is the beginning or the end. Because as long as you guys are here, all that matter’s is the moment at hand.