My Teenage Dilemma

It all starts off with this little need to belong. We as humans, though sometimes boast about our solitude, often need the company of others like us to make ourselves feel loved. But love, in my experience is an illusion and the only sure way of telling if someone really loves you is that either you learn about it over time, or you see it immediately.

The love I’m talking about isn’t romance. 

It’s the love of letting someone fit in with your thoughts and doings. It’s in letting them share your ice tea or making them get a chicken roll for you. Or even lending them a hundred bucks and not bothering about having it returned back. 

I’ve found these friends.

But is there anything wrong in going beyond and finding more people, being with others who don’t make me quite comfortable with my situations? Just with my bunch of happy, saint like friends, I also have those people that I hang out with, who in some way distort the values I was brought up with.

While, my -let’s call them- Good friends are most reliable, these other ‘bad’ friends are ‘THE Popular Crowd’ that everyone wants to be a part of. But what really makes my set of Bad friends, bad? They are really nice people, genuinely. They can be just as empathetic as my Good friends are. The only problem is that they either always stink of smoke, talk about getting sloshed or even flirt with the idea of drugs – all which I’m staunchly against. I have no issues with others practicing what they like to do. But my only concern lies in the fact, that maybe my set of ideals hinder our friendship.

A keen philosopher would say, that if the relationship is true, nothing else but you and them will matter. But in reality, nothing is a definite color – so neither is this. I will never be called to their parties, because they think I’m a goody-too-shoes, but hey, that doesn’t mean I don’t like having fun. And if I do hang around with them, then my Good friends might distance themselves from me. 

I’ve found that people need a system of classification in order to function. I cannot hang out with the good group and the bad group. That’s just not acceptable. In the eyes of society, one has to conform to only one category. It gobsmacks the entire mind of person when they find two contrasting qualities in a people. In such a place, where I cannot be in two very opposite teams, I’m left to be only one thing – The outsider. 


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