Without finding any need to, I sought to draw what I’d like to tattoo on my skin. Now ya’ll must be thinking, what’s so strange about getting a tattoo or even just thinking about it? Surely, everyone does that. Well, people, I have a fear of getting hurt. It’s more like a phobia than anything else. And the slightest of things scare me…because any one of them can hurt just as bad.
If there’s one thing that’s universally constant, it is change.
As people, we’re never the same, even in a span of a day. The past never defines us, just as the present cannot predict our future. I was led into an argument with myself, thus saying, that if we are so inconsistent, doesn’t the entire idea of personality just simply fall apart? Being a student of Psychology, I am forced to believe that humans, individually, do have distinctive ways of behaving and thinking. One might say their actions can change over time, due to the enormity of different pressures, but the original inclination towards those actions come from the primary drives that build up his or her personality.
I don’t wish to sound like a textbook, and that’s not why I am typing. Some years ago, I’d have absolutely put every distance between myself and the book Pride and Prejudice. Written in the turn of the 19th C, ignorant of what the story actually contained, and put off by the tittle, I was sure that this book was a complete no-no for me. And how wrong I was. Let us not lament on that, but on the fact of how our attitudes can change, alter.
In my little experience of seventeen years of living (PHEW) I’ve come to believe that things change more rapidly and much quickly that a blink of the eye, a beating of the heart. If things change in such chaos, how are we to make sense of it before it is too late? I’m exactly like a hermit, only a have mountain of books and a internet connection to keep me alive – but in just that sense, I hate having to leave my room – okay, unless it includes excursion to place of my choice, like Paris – I’m just hateful, to the changes that take place. Like going off to college and making new friends. I was so uncomfortable with that… because I had spent almsot ten years with a set of people who I’d come to love and now I had to go off to an entire new place and begin again. But then, the inevitable passed and I even managed to make friends… amazing ones, too. But as soon as I got home, my school mates were pinning me down to spend time with them! And then the same people who I fond so amiable became the people I didn’t want to spend time with.
Change is weird. But in the moment after change has occurred, it seems normal – like everything is the way it was supposed to be. And through out our lives – we go through ample of these moments. Moments that seem perfect. That should last forever. That should never be messed with. But these moments are not the constants – it is change.
My tattoo drawn above, fails to symbolize everything that is important in my life. (Because then I’d have to get a big tattoo for that and that’s a lot of pain, so NO) But it does portray three things: 1. The triangle stands for Delta, in Math which is also used to symbolize Change. Change that occurs ‘infinitely.’ 2. The inverted triangle stands for Divergence in Math. Which also happens to be the title of my favorite book (Divergent) It is to remind me that sometimes, being different can be alarming. Because being different doesn’t only mean you can be better than somebody, it also can mean that you are lesser in certain aspects than somebody. And that not everybody is going to see things the way you do – and that’s okay. 3. BE, which of course as you know, is the present tense of being. Always live in the present. You can do the worrying part of life, if you must. But also make sure you do the day dreaming part of it, too.
(It’s been such a long time since I’ve actually expressed something. This felt good.)