Author: Sue Lamb
Genre: Young Adult Humor
Publication year: 2004
Media type: Paperback
POV: 3rd Person
Blurb: Life was tragic enough before this spring started. With a distinct lack of boobage and an arse so big that birds of prey could nest within its shadows, Jess Jordan is saddled with the Goddess Flora for a best friend, a Britney Spears look-alike so gorgeous that one grain of her divine dandruff could make the blind see again. Jess knows that her soul mate is Ben Jones, a divine mixture of Leonardo diCaprio, Prince William, and Brad Pitt who oozes mystery and charisma. But the campaign to get Ben to notice her brings on a cavalcade of mortification and disaster, including, but not limited to, a minestrone soup explosion that takes place in her bra and a schoolwide viewing of a videotape that features a topless Jess referring to her breasts as “Bonnie” and “Clyde.”
Meanwhile, Jess’s death-obsessed Granny moves into her bedroom, along with her grandfather’s remains; her hypochondriac dad, who sends her daily “horrorscopes” like “You will fall asleep with your mouth open, and a family of earwigs will move in,” acts strange about Jess staying with him this summer; and her longtime friend Fred, a television violence addict and closet thumbsucker, has decided that he can’t stand being around her. Jess is determined to make things right . . . but with her offbeat sense of humor and her wildly active imagination, things get complicated along the way.
My Say: Trust me when I say that this book is HILARIOUS. I couldn’t bear to put it down. You never knew what would happen the next moment and Jess’ descriptions are certainly to die for. I enjoyed this book so much that I swear I will read all the five sequels. Because the first book leaves me asking for more (I see what you did there, Sue Lamb, *slow clap*) It’s not your everyday teen drama that you read in Every. Single. Book. Yes, it does kind of have a kiddish vibe to it, but I think that’s what makes this book so light and fun and happy and pixie-ish. Get the point? It sends you on an ethereal high.
Jess’ exaggerations hit you in the right places and you wonder how does she find these metaphors to compare her soppy life with. Like most teenagers, she too has insecurities, but just reading her life from her perspective makes you believe there’s nothing a good joke can’t heal.
And in the end, Fred does say those three words that make a difference in Jess’ life.
And no, you guessed the words wrong, bye!
I command each one of you to go read this book, NOW!
I will rate this a: 5 out of 5
(It’s that good)
Other comments: It’s the first book in the series.
“Jess actually dreaded having a boyfriend, because of having to tell her mum. Perhaps she would just avoid it until her mum’s eighty or something and in an old-people’s home, and then Jess, who would by then be about fifty, would drop by and casually remark, “Oh, by the way, Mum, I’ve got a boyfriend.” And even then her mum would probably hurtle out of her wheelchair and smack her hard across the face, crying “You trash! You whore! Get outta my house–I mean, my room!” It was hard sometimes, being the daughter of a radical feminist who hated men. ”
That’s it then guys!
Any books you’d like me to read? Comment!
I really wish Wikipedia would at least have a page on these not-so-famous books. Ugh, life.
Anyway, I should really get back to trying to study.
And hey, the second episode of Stine Hallow will be out in a day or so. Fingers crossed.
Until the inspiration cloud hits me..