Big Dreams, No Means.

I have never really been the decisive one.
Whether that’s to say what I’ll have for dinner or which subjects I want to study in Uni.
This can partly be traced to the fact that I’m always lazy and shove in the most convenient decision of them all, that will include me not shifting my bottom off the sofa.
However, since the only activity I want to do in abundance is the mental one, I can say that lying on the couch has given me sufficient time to just think.

As a fourth grader I would steal chalks from the school and conduct my own class with invisible students in my house.
That was also a way of learning my lessons, because I mostly taught my class what I had myself learnt in school that day.
So, of course I got an A grade, but more than that – I had this major dream of becoming a teacher.

But just as we change, so do our ambitions. Watching Kate Beckett kick ass on tv as an eight grader, I told my mum I wanted to become a Homicide Detective. For the NYPD.
Yes, she nodded back to me. That was totally happening.

Another year down the lane, I realized that I really liked Science. And everyone was sure I’d become a doctor or something when I grow up. When I acquired the highest marks in it for my final school year, my mother and grandma had it hammering how good it would be to become a physiotherapist.
Also, because apparently I gave really good massages.

Not very recently, I realized what I liked doing the most – Writing.
I saw that writing wasn’t something I had just taken up due to random boredom.
I used to write poems for the church bulletin way back as a kid. And I also had incomplete stories depicting the caravan adventures of my friends (who lived in my building) and me, named as the ‘Spectacular Six – Caravan Gangsters.’
Not to forget, how I tried to replicate a Nancy Drew book.

So the thing is.. what I want to do, keeps changing incessantly.
Today I might love writing.
But every time I watch MasterChef Australia, I desperately wish I could cook.

And then when I see Theo James (which is kinda always, coz I keep staring at his picture) I dream of becoming an actress, because that’s the only way I can meet him.
But obviously, I can’t act for nuts. Or for money, either.

Yes, in my lifetime I want to become a variety of things. I have so many dreams to fulfill and looking back at the person I am right now – it all seems impossible.
I mean, how am I supposed to be a best selling writer or write a script for the movies? Who’s gonna read me?
And I don’t have much of an option to go study in a film school or actually learn to shoot a gun, right now.
And I definitely can’t be a Hannah Montana today.

Even though I want to.

The bottom line is to try. In a small, minuscule way, so be it. Because everyone has to start somewhere, even if it is building castles in the air. It is one brick at a time.
This post, like all my others, is also a try, it is a brick.
I wish each one of you to go on and plaster those bricks of yours.



2 thoughts on “Big Dreams, No Means.

  1. This post is extremely relatable for me. I’m usually too indecisive to go and get the things I want. Or be the greatest I can be, but your post has shown me that, that’s alright. As long as I try and do what I can, that’s just how it’s going to be.


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