I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad.
Where the west was all but won.
All alone smoking his last cigarette.
I said, “Where you been?” He said, “Ask anything.”
Where were you when I was waiting by the platform.
Waiting for that train that took me back and forth.
The man I saw there, I saw him every day.
On platform number 1, as the trains whizzed past.
Lost and insecure, he found me.
And look up from his phone, a smile within it deceived.
When I looked back, he turned his face.
No motion of my lips could then be conceived.
Where were you when all of this was occurring?
When with a slight absence of every Saturday I was falling.
He never meant me to trip, least to be there to catch.
He was into his phone and the girl who were at least 3 sizes thinner than me.
But in the end, everyone lands up alone.
Losing him, the only thing I had ever known.
Who I was, who I ought to be.
Forgotten when he walked, when he stood next to me.
The early morning, the city breaks, and we leave.
With one last tear, I dare to see.
The back of his head, his lovely hair. The parting of his lips when he smiles into his phone.
The white blurry shoes he wears and strong biceps strapped to his arms.
Last thought in, and I swear, like I do everyday, not to look at him ever.
And we leave.
All I needed was a call, but it never came.
And sometimes I thought, I never crossed his mind.
So there, I breathe, I sigh.
Because crying over someone who doesn’t know you and doesn’t care is not sane.
I’d give anything for him to come looking again.
No way to know how long it will be when he’s next to me.
So I type for a face. Maybe an unknown shared place.
And after a couple thousand links, and clicks and pictures..
I find him.
Lost and insecure, I found you, I found you.
Why’d you have to wait. Why couldn’t you just say?
Maybe if you had smiled instead of glazed.
Maybe if you had let the sheet of indifference fray,
I wouldn’t be lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded.
Why’d you have to wait… to find me?
(Inspired by ‘You Found Me’ – The Fray)