Have you heard of a Sadie Hawkins dance?
It’s a dance where the girl asks the guy out. In lieu of the concept where usually a boy asks the girl for a dance.
For me, though, my entire life has been a Sadie Hawkins dance.
I remember turning 13 and all my cousins gathering in the room and giving me ‘The Talk.’ When they told me which guys I should date, and how I should react when they flirt. They told me what kind of boys were out there, and what they wanted. They told me it was a part of growing up, and I should not be ashamed of it.
Unfortunately, I’ve never gone through any of that – being glanced at by a really cute looking guy, or blushing because the most popular guy in college called you pretty. I don’t even think I’ve been flirted with…
…(Unless you count drunk texting as flirting) – Anywho, getting to the point – I was always told that a girl never made evident that she liked the boy. If you wanted to be liked, you have to be mysterious. You had to be elegant, and lady-like, perfect smiles and perfect legs. And I always wanted to believe that.
Because it really must feel nice to be treated special by someone else. Especially someone you think you’re attracted to. And I’ve always dreamed about a prince charming riding a horse. BUT-
“A prince in a shining armor did nothing for no one. He never fought.
A knight in a dent rusted armor, now that’s what you want.”
And rightly so.
In the past three years of my hormonal raging life, I’ve learnt that you don’t come across a lot of prince charmings with raggedly handsome looks and words that make your heart skip a beat. (Except on a tv screen) Aaaaand. If you do, you’ll also realize that they don’t offer any of their existence to you, and what makes your heart skip a beat is staring at them from 10 meters away.
So, as society progresses and we proclaim women are equal to men, yada yada yada, I’ve also come to see that we cannot be the same women that appear delicate for one moment, expecting the guy to protect us like damsels in distress, and fight for our rights the next.
But I’m not going to stray away from my base – I’m tired of waiting.
Waiting for a boy to take the ‘first step’ and smile, or say hello to you. Even though that’s what I was told.
Because why should only the guy have the alarming duty of being a ‘gentleman’ and opening the door for you. Why does he have to tell you that he likes you? OR pay for the lunch, take you out on a date. Why can’t it be the other way round, without it getting awkward?…
I really don’t know. Maybe a girl striking the first move is seen as needy. Or forever alone.
That if I flirt I’d be considered slutty or desperate. And the reality is, I don’t care. I want to fall in love. And I want to be with him.
If only going up to him and saying, “I’ll be your Princess Charming,” was easy.
(Inspired by the song ‘This Time’ by Megan and Liz)